Teach Your Children Well

Grandma and me, Christmas, 1970's

Today a headline caught my attention on the internet news.  Apparently, a bride and groom decided to chronicle their marriage story for the New York Times. Ho-hum, right? Not so. Apparently, both were married when they met. They decided that breaking up two homes, complete with young children, and marrying one another was just okay-dokey.  The bride reportedly said she doesn't feel the slightest qualm about it.  She's happy she didn't sleep with the groom before marriage, and so feels that breaking up two homes for her and her now-husband's selfish pleasure was just fine.



To quote the Times, "The drama was as unlikely as it was unstoppable."

Wrong. It was quite stoppable.  Just say no to temptation. Isn't that the right thing to do? Say yes to vows and promises, say no to temptation. 

Wouldn't have made quite the juicy, newspaper-selling story, would it?

Both couples had young children at home. They're justifying their selfish actions by feeling self-righteous about not cheating on their original spouse; no, they came clean, told their spouses they wanted divorces, told their kids, and decided to share this tale through the New York Times. They didn't sleep around or sneak into motels, or so we are told. 

I wonder if they realize what they just taught their children.  I'm sure they would deny this, but all I could think of was the message this gives their children.

"Honey, it's perfectly fine to give in to temptation when it comes your way....just be honest about."

"You can break promises as long as you do it honestly."

"It doesn't matter how many people you hurt. If you're happy, then it's okay."

Do you think any parent in his right mind would say those things to a child? Yet by skipping down the aisle with spouse #2, each person in this tragedy just gave those messages loud and clear to the children involved.

And we wonder why divorce rates are sky-high, why kids get so messed up, why the rates of depression among teens are way up. We wonder why our kids aren't doing well in school, why they don't seem to have the moral compass of past generations. 

But I'm sure the happy newlyweds will find someone other than themselves to blame if, God forbid, their kids develop problems later on. After all, it's the school's problem, right? Or maybe society?  Or those horrible religions - so judgmental - that make the kids feel bad, right? 

I am grateful, so very grateful, for parents that taught me that keeping my promise meant more than nearly anything else in the world.

I am grateful for parents, teachers and grownups that were in my life who showed me by example that you don't leave people when the going gets tough.  You stand by them.


Here's the full story that I read this morning.  After the outrage, say a prayer for those kids, whose parents put their own selfish happiness ahead of the family.